This week’s entry continues my “series” on non-gelada animals living in the Simien Mountains. Last week I wrote about my encounters with the other primates (Papio hamadryas) living in the park and predation by leopards on the local farmers’ livestock. I suggested that a chupacabra might be responsible for the nocturnal slayings of goats and sheep, however Ethiopians are not familiar with the goatsucker of Central America. They shrugged off my suggestion as nonsense. If there were a chupacabra in the Simiens he/she would have a horde of blood-sucking chums living in my sleeping bag. Yes, my name is ***** and I have fleas.
Why then have I not exterminated my vampiric arthropod buddies? I’ve tried. At first I deployed a limited tactical engagement of powder (not garlic) & sunlight (it works against larger vampires). I was bite free for a few days. They returned with greater numbers. Next I did my best impression of Harry Truman and nuked my sleeping bag, liner, and mattress with flea powder. Picture the expressions on their terrified little mandibles as toxic snow rained down on their flea parade. Their flea circus would be wiped clean, with flea trapeze artists crashing to the ground after choking in mid-flip. The flea cannon would sound no more.
But no! I awoke this morning to fresh bites on my side. I then realized I do not hate the flea, but admire it. They are resilient little creatures not deserving of extermination, but instead companionship. In order to defeat the flea, I must first understand the flea. Perhaps I can get some grant money for a flea research project next summer? NSF? Anyone?
Filed under: Fieldwork | Tagged: chupacabra, flea, nuclear winter, vampire
You’re right….but crazy. They require companionship, a host. And, although resilient they may be, they can be a tormenting parasite to a valid host. I am a human, natural host to a parasite such as the flea. And for some reason they are naturally attracted to me. Therefore, I HATE fleas. They ARE my ENEMY (#1 right now). Feeding off me to reproduce and create new life and parasitism in the place where I live. I WILL rid you fleas. You have only experienced my 1st round of wrath! I kill fleas by drowning. I pick them off my sock and place them in a 16 oz glass of water. By the time they are 10 oz down their legs stop kicking. I think the next one I catch I will waterboard. Just wait til he drifts downward in the glass exactly 9 oz. and they bring him back to the surface and revive him and continue. And then set him free to tell his flea friends that it’s time to pack up and move out. That’s right.